Barefoot Jewess

Yeah, I'm alive and kicking. With bells and pomegranates on. And cleaning toilets. And feeling like I'm living through a miracle. Since I began cleaning houses I have often felt semi-comatose from exhaustion, so I have not been able to find the energy to write. Frankly, the stories about the Rabbis of the Talmud labouring all day and then studying Torah all night reek of the stuff of legend!

I have a gem of an apartment thanks to Jewish Family Services. And to G-d. It has given me much needed peace, and healing. Meanwhile, the holiday season is upon us. There is so much more for me to say but suffice it now to quote my words at Matzah and Marinara, on what it's like to be a convert and to experience Christmas:

I am a total sucker for Handel’s Messiah and have no problem with it. I do, however, have problems with other Xmas music. I love How the Grinch Stole Christmas, and think that we Jews are the Whos. It gets confusing.

I love Xmas trees. I miss them terribly. I love looking at them. But I do prefer Hanukkah lights to Xmas lights. Yet, I looooove Xmas lights!

Sigh.

I loved being in Israel around Xmas time. I didn’t miss anything remotely Christmassy. It was such a relief. Only Israel will save me, I suppose :).

And here is something I wrote a couple of days ago:

Miracles Freak Me Out

(Well, at least they don't creep me out. Unlike my experience yesterday, cleaning a defunct crack house in the richest part of town; where the carpet in one bedroom was replaced and the windows had been open for a week due to a decaying body. I was cleaning sprays of blood from needles from the walls of the bathrooms.

so

I won't go on....).

I am living in my little gem of an apartment thanks to the efforts on my behalf of Jewish Family Services. I am cleaning houses for an agency, which is why I haven't posted: exhaustion rules my days and paralyses my mind, right now. I am, however, very fit. JFS also found me a bed, and a bit of furniture. Damn, JFS and all those who think of me, make me proud to be a Jew. In fact, I said that very same thing for the JFS newsletter, using my real name cause I am so proud. And also so amazed to connect with living Torah, which means JFS and you.

So in this season of remembering miracles, I want to say that I feel that I am still living through a miracle, of which you have been no small part. And my most profound miracle, I think, has been my best friend, L, who sent, as always, 8 little gifts. And finally reminded me that I no longer need mourn old, pitch black memories at this time of year.

So, here's to miracles. They are real. As G-d is real.

Amein.